I’m posting this because it’s kinda funny. But at the same time, it’s not. But it kind of is.
It’s not funny because I think there’s nothing more important than an informed, passionate client. I’ve worked with some great ones. They’ve elevated my game. A great client can make up for any short-comings on the agency team. That said, this is kinda funny.
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It's a horse, of course.
Zenyatta is the big girl who kicked ass in the boys’ club. She was 19-0 heading into this weekend’s Breeders’ Cup and a celebrity on par with many B-listers. Her fan base is fiercely loyal and compared to all of the let-down spokesmen from the human sports world, she looks like a smart brand’s dream.
Although she failed to clinch her final race, she will be assured a place in history and hopefully a few product endorsements.
Here are a few reasons to give your slimy quarterbacks and golfers the boot and hook up with an athlete you and your brand can count on.
She’s famous
She has a Facebook “Girl Power“ fanpage. She has a fan wiki where you can buy Zenyatta merchandise. She’s been referred to as a feminist icon and some guy named Richard Dyer took the time to write this: “Star images are always extensive, multimedia, intertextual,” and the proliferation of digital tools and online social platforms enables fan co-creation of stars.” Does this turkey know that he’s writing about a six-year-old horse?
So called veteran turf writer Steve Haskin says, “Zenyatta transcends mere racehorse-ness because of her diva-like presence and prima ballerina moves, her uncanny showmanship and ability to take on human traits.”
She’s even been compared to Lady Gaga. “Both are stars with niche, femininely gendered fandoms; both are symbols of female empowerment; both are subjects of passionate debate; both have fandoms that believe their stars, and thus the fans themselves, occupy marginal social and cultural roles; both are Other yet one of us; both are becoming-human and becoming-animal. Although relatively few people have heard of her, Zenyatta matters.”
There will be no sex scandals
Zenyatta’s sex life will be a clinically supervised series of affairs with the Who’s Who of the stud world. Her lovers will all come from big money, have homes in the country and well-documented pedigree. And she’s a horse. She can’t really sneak out and bang the nanny, so to speak.
There will be no wreckage
Zenyatta will never total her SUV or drive her sports car into a flower shop because she is a horse. She can’t drive. That’s part of her “racehorse-ness” (as the veteran turf writers say). Interestingly, her trainer does allow a pint of Guinness a day. But she still can’t drive. She’s still a horse.
There will be no embarrassing flashes
Paparazzi will never get a 100K photo of Zenyatta exposing her privates, smoking a joint or hanging out on the deck of a yacht with someone else’s man. She’ll put on a few pounds in retirement but no one will care. Sooner or later, there will be shots of her baby bump and speculation about the success of her offspring but it won’t get worse than that.
It’s sad state of affairs when human friend horse on Facebook but it’s sadder that we can’t rely on human heroes to set examples for the kids and show some respect for the brands that make them millionaires.
TweetAccording to the brilliant and talented Elliott Smith, “It’s not about hours, it’s about sleeps.”
One 16 hour day is not the same as two, eight-hour days. No matter how fast technology gets, the creative part of the human brain needs time to form connections between problems and solutions. Most really great ideas come while walking the dog, watching the weather channel at the gym or keeping one eye on the kids.
Good clients build this time in their schedules. Great ones build it into the revision process, understanding that the only draft that matters is the one the customer sees.
TweetEllisism rarely takes aim at individuals but this seemed like a fun idea. I read in a bloid that Meagan Fox was called ”dumb as a hammer”. Why a hammer? I thought. Then, I thought, it might be fun to compare to the Meagan Fox brand to my favourite, top-of-the-line Estwing framing hammer. Brand showdown.
The Estwing framing hammer. Handsome in blue and yellow.
Dependablility The Estwing has lasted eight years and survived a half dozen renovations with no deterioration in performance. Meagan? Transformers 1. Slutty horror flick. Transformers 2. Poof!
Looks The Estwing is timeless and has a clear advantage over its competitors. The blue and yellow branding is handsome and distinct. Meagan is hot now but in few years, without the make-up, who knows.
Versatility The Estwing wins hands down. Meagan is a one-trick pony. But the hammer also pulls nails.
Weigh in. Join the debate.
Meagan Fox or the Estwing hammer?
TweetWe’ve all heard of the inverted pyramid, the journalistic writing style that suggests the most important part of a story (the lead) goes at the top and from there it gets less relevant.
I suggest that the MSN home page subscribes to the perverted pyramid approach to story selection. Promise topless shots of Meagen, Eva, Jennifer, Kim or Angie. Next, bikini stories. Then, top ten lists on how to satisfy her, him, them, whatever.
But just as I finish typing this, “The Happiest Goose in the World” appeared. Go figure. The MSN homepage is not just for perverts. It’s for idiots too.
TweetPositioning. Bloody hell. This may seem like a rant but it’s not. It’s just friendly food for thought.
The word ‘positioning’ shows up in every creative brief and 99% of the time it makes no sense and is of no use to your creative team. Has anyone read the book or searched the term lately?
You and your organization should ban the use of the word ‘positioning’ if:
OK. That was a bit of a rant. But it makes sense. Agree?
TweetThis might seem like a peeve but it’s not. It’s just friendly advice that will help you win friends and influence copywriters.
The plural of call-to-action is calls-to-action. Note that the “s” belongs to call. Think about it this way: He got drunk and made several calls to his ex. Not: He got drunk and made several call to his exes. See the difference?
TweetThis may seem like a peeve but it’s not. It’s just advice for anyone who has to, or gets to, interact with creative types.
The correct expression is, “flesh it out”. To flesh something out is to make it fuller, richer or more robust. It’s etymology is linked to “fleshing out”, which literally means putting more meat on the bones. You might say, “those Olsen girls need to flesh out a little.”
Hunters use the term “flush out” to describe forcing something from its hiding place. But this makes for an abstract notion when talking about creative ideas. It could be used in the right situation but that’s not the point.
Asking someone to flush out their idea is likely going to send a message that you think the idea is shit. It’s only one letter but it makes a big difference. Choose flesh.
TweetEvery form of engagement competes with a more entertaining or satisfying way to spend time or money. Limiting the definition of a ‘competitive set’ to products or services similar to the ones you sell is, well… limiting.
When we ask people to give up time, or money, it’s always at the expense of something else and it’s rarely an apples-to-apples comparison. A mortgage calculator competes with YouTube for eyeball minutes during the day. Savings plans compete with gym memberships, specialty channels and data plans.
For every product or service, there is a metaphoric case of beer offering something tasty and predictable. Redefining the competition is one more way to create more compelling and effective content.
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